The assertive public speaker

Public speakers need to develop their assertiveness skills, especially when dealing with difficult people. Training presentations, business presentations and press conferences can all lead to challenging situations.

Speaking Well In Public’s courses can include a practical Assertiveness element. Contact us and we’ll be pleased to discuss your needs.

We react to emotional messages from each other, but we respond to intelligent behaviour.

Assertive behaviour is separate from aggressive, passive or passive-aggressive behaviour in that it completely side-steps emotional involvement and helps you to reach conclusions and compromises in dealing with family and relationship matters, at work as a manager or employee, when making a complaint about bad service etc.

Studying assertiveness will help you to develop more confidence, awareness of the rights and responsibilities of all concerned, improve relationships, reduce stress, gain greater control and reduce fear, so winning greater achievements and results.

Signs of assertive behaviour include positive, confident and clear language, a neutral, calm, reasonable and businesslike tone of voice, and open, relaxed and calm body language and eye contact.

Active Listening is a major element of assertiveness. Your rights in conversation include to be listened to, to choose your own feelings and emotions, to put yourself first on occasions, to say “no” at times and to have and express an opinion. We all have these rights and responsibilities, therefore the assertive person realises that the other person has the same rights, too.

Our courses cover various techniques for staying in control of your feelings, and techniques for standing your ground in the face of bullying, manipulation, sympathy-seeking, emotional blackmail and steam-rollering.

You’ll learn about the value of active listening and using professional language, a neutral tone of voice, positive non-verbal communication and eye contact.

You’ll also look at techniques for confronting an issue with another person, and regaining control of a situation.

Speaking Well In Public offer training in Being Assertive, ideal for public speaking and leadership. Contact us and we’ll be pleased to discuss your needs.

People can be more frightened of public speaking than of spiders and death.Don’t panic! Here come my ten tips for success… Ten Tips 1: Planning and preparing well will help develop your confidence, and ensure that your speech or presentation is a success Ten Tips 2: Focus: Decide on your aim and objectives for the presentation – find out about your audience’s needs, so it’s relevant to them Ten Tips 3: Gather, prioritise and structure your material Ten Tips 4: Make brief speaking notes and cue cards to refer to, or if you’re reading a formal script, learn Reading Aloud skills Ten Tips 5: Use a visual aid to make it more interesting and memorable – but it doesn’t have to be Powerpoint Ten Tips 6: Rehearse, especially first and last words. Increase confidence, ensure smooth performance and find where you need to make changes Ten Tips 7: Deal with nerves. Even though you’re prepared and rehearsed, you’ll feel nervous, so study some confidence-building techniques Ten Tips 8: Work on your vocal and non-verbal communication, develop an interesting voice and support your message with your body language Ten Tips 9: Prepare for questions in advance, and practice your assertiveness skills for handling the difficult audience with style Ten Tips 10: ‘How did I do?’ Seek and accept feedback positively, work on your message and delivery for improving your next presentation Ten Tips: Speaking Well In Public’s portfolio of training courses will help you to become a more confident, polished and powerful speaker

 

When you stand up to speak in public, the first impression the audience have of you is visual, and it will take them those first few seconds to make up their minds about you. Because any audience needs to trust you, to like you and to understand you, if that first impression is not a positive one, you’ll find it difficult to win them over. And it doesn’t stop there – throughout your presentation, your audience is taking in far more about you than the words you use to deliver your message. You can learn to be aware and in control of your own personal impact: Cultivating an air of poise and confidence – even if you don’t feel it – will lend your message authority and gravitas. This will help to relax the audience, building their confidence in you, and you’ll find you start to feel the same way too. Taking care over grooming and dress gives an instantly positive impression, suggesting self-discipline and attention to detail – and it’s only polite to be well turned-out. Being aware of your expressions and body language, with a pleasant, welcoming smile and friendly eye contact will all help you to engage with them and set up a rapport. We like people who like us and those barriers will start to come down. Paying attention to them, observing their body language and listening to their contributions helps to make them feel that they matter and that you respect them. Developing a controlled, attractive voice, well paced, pitched and modulated with humour and warmth encourages people to listen because they want to, not because they must. So if you want to present your grown-up, intelligent, committed and credible professional self to the world, it’s important to understand that it’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it – and what you do and how you look while you’re saying it. Speaking Well In Public’s training highlights and raises awareness of your own personal impact through practical experience followed by honest, respectful and constructive feedback during the course, plus post-course self-development exercises. You’ll find helpful articles and advice on personal impact throughout the website.

 

 

Laura Cartledge meets Philippa Hammond
who takes the drama out of public speaking

Speak Easy

Brighton-based public speaking expert Philippa Hammond comes from a theatrical family.

‘I grew up around play readings and performances so it was all very normal for me,’ she explains. ‘And the ancient techniques actors use for dealing with stage fright are great for public speaking.’

Later Philippa branched into training while being an actress at the same time before combining her skills and starting her own business, aptly named Speaking Well In Public.

‘My work goes right across the board from one-to-ones to development programmes,’ she adds. ‘I love it, especially on a one day course. People are so nervous when they get there and by the end of the day they are asking to do another one as they enjoy it so much.’

Speaking well is a valuable skill in all walks of life, whether you are in business, applying to university, have a job interview or need to make a speech at a special occasion.

‘It is such a bonus, it gives you sense of credibility,’ she says. ‘So much is about how you engage with people. They will be working out do I like this person, do I trust them and, ultimately, do I believe them? I read in Forbes magazine the top six qualities looked for in an employee. Public speaking, body language and being able to command a room were in the top three.’

So what prevents people from being confident speakers, and can anyone do it?

‘I believe that if you can speak and hold a conversation, you can do it,’ Philippa replies. ‘We have our own barriers which we build in our minds. I have worked with people from fire and rescue who can run into a burning building but if they are faced with a presentation they are frightened. It is not about courage but about comfort zones.’

The key to a good speaker is being able to grab attention and keep it. This means being memorable and working out what the audience needs.

Philippa believes there are three key areas people need to address.

‘The first is being prepared’, she says. ‘It sounds obvious, but rehearsing is vital. When you are driving, in the bath or on the train – in fact it’s a great way to get a double seat to yourself. The second is positive thinking. People sabotage themselves, you need to visualise yourself succeeding,’ she explains. ‘Finally, relax, breathe from your diaphragm. If you don’t, you won’t have the power you need.’

All of this works to counteract the physical impact nerves can have. As adrenaline pumps your heart beats faster, you begin to overheat and can’t think or speak. Acknowledging this is another key aspect.

‘The thing is, we are not brought up to be loud,’ Philippa says. ‘We are turned down at school as the teacher is speaking.

It is great for confidence and I would love it to be taught in schools.’

To find out more about Philippa and her work, or to discuss your training needs

Contact

Training presentations, business presentations and press conferences can all lead to challenging situations. Public speakers, trainers and facilitators need to develop their assertiveness skills, especially when dealing with difficult people.

Assertive behaviour is separate from aggressive, passive or passive-aggressive behaviour in that it completely side-steps emotional involvement and helps you to reach conclusions and compromises, whether you’re dealing with family and relationship matters, at work as a manager or employee, or making a complaint about bad service etc.

We react to emotional messages from each other, but we respond to intelligent behaviour.

Signs of assertive behaviour include positive, clear, professional language, a neutral, reasonable and businesslike tone of voice, and open, relaxed and calm body language and eye contact.

Your rights in conversation include to be listened to, to choose your own feelings and emotions, to put yourself first on occasions, to say “no” at times and to have and express an opinion. We all have these rights and responsibilities, therefore the assertive person realises that the other person has the same rights, too. Active listening is a major element of assertiveness.

The assertive person is also ready to confront an issue with another person, and regain control of a situation.

To achieve this, it’s important to stay in control of your feelings, and be confident about standing your ground in the face of bullying, manipulation, sympathy-seeking and emotional blackmail.

Developing your assertive side will help you to develop more confidence, awareness of the rights and responsibilities of all concerned, improve relationships, reduce stress, gain greater control and reduce fear. You’ll improve your own personal and professional image, so winning greater achievements and results.

 

 

Are you prone to blushing when you’re nervous or embarrassed?

Some tips to help you deal with it.

It’s completely normal and happens to us all, but it’s more obvious in some people than others. As adrenaline races through your system the blood vessels expand to take more oxygen-rich blood around it, your skin temperature shoots up and the familiar blush begins.

With thinner skin than men, women tend to be more prone to it, and the fairer you are the more obvious it looks.

Then, especially if you’re standing up in front of an audience, you feel self-conscious about what’s happening, get more stressed, go even pinker – and so it goes round and round…

How can you cope with blushing?

Thinking “I have to stop blushing and must never do it again” won’t work!

Ask yourself instead “well … does it actually matter if I do?”

If you act as if it doesn’t matter, maybe even make a relaxed joke about it yourself in advance, you’ll start to feel more confident about it, because plenty of the audience will know exactly how it feels themselves and will be sympathetic.

And did you know blushing is also considered rather attractive!

You can practice deep breathing and relaxation exercises to calm you and make it less likely to happen. Then as you relax into the presentation, you’ll find the blushing diminishes.

A makeup artist’s secret – you can buy green-tinted cream concealer makeup that can help tone down that redness and translucent powder to take down any shine. Try building up your own small makeup kit – all performers, male and female, wear makeup for stage, cameras and lighting, and it’s very useful for public speakers, too.

But if blushing really has become a problem for you, try speaking to your doctor, as there may be an underlying cause.

Related: ‘is it me … or is it hot in here?’ Keeping your cool with the art of the fan

Learn more about dealing with nerves with Speaking Well In Public.

“PowerPoint is only a glorified slide-show, the point of power in the room should be the speaker” Thomas Everchild

PowerPoint for training, business presentations, briefings, speeches, pitches … friend or foe?

How to engage not enrage your audiences.

Any speaker wants to capture the audience’s attention, keep it, and get that message across.

We learn by hearing information – we pay attention to the words and to the voice and the way the words are delivered. Writing well-crafted material in conversational language and developing a strong, interesting and compelling voice will help them to engage with you and what you’re saying.

We learn by seeing information and picturing concepts. If we add the element of seeing the information to a presentation, that will increase the amount that goes in and stays in. Demonstrations, pictures, graphs, colours, diagrams, photos, videos, art, illustrations and visual aids will support your message.

We learn by doing things. We need to have a go, get our hands dirty, move about and get involved. Having to sit and stare at a screen and listen to a voice can mean our attention may wander and we may start to fidget, or drop off.

So the most successful presentations usually involve an element of all three, and they’re especially useful for training presentations where you want to get information, understanding and knowledge across.

PowerPoint can be a powerful aid to achieving success – it can also cause a presentation to crash and burn if not used well.

Top Tips

Text

A clear heading sets the scene.

Use very little text – too much text will overwhelm and confuse. They’re hearing what you’re saying and also “hearing” the words they’re reading at the same time – and they probably won’t be the same words at once.

Cut, cut, cut.

Few bullet points.

Plenty of white space.

Plain uncluttered backgrounds without logos or decorations – they will distract.

Check spelling, grammar and punctuation – they matter.

The entire audience must be able to see, read and understand everything on your screen – tiny writing, cluttered images, confusing diagrams will confuse, irritate and distract them from your message. Nothing up there is just for the speaker’s benefit.

Images

A picture paints a thousand words.

Concentrate on clear, good quality visual images – the slide is the equivalent of the picture on the TV screen. You don’t see the narration or the script on screen when you watch TV or a film so why should you want to when you look at a slide?

You can include internet access to demonstrate websites, play video and audio, which adds a lot of variety and interest. Just be sure you are very familiar with it all and your WiFi connections are good.

Follow the film rule of “show don’t tell” – it’s your message in visual format.

Programmes come with all kinds of distracting and irritating features – wipes, animations, fade in, fade out .. these quickly become a distracting bore, as do clip art and cheesy “humorous” cartoons. Leave them out.

Preparing to use the PowerPoint

‘Can you send me your presentation in advance?’ No.

People often make the mistake of thinking that the PowerPoint IS the presentation.

It isn’t – you, your words and your message are the presentation, the slideshow is the icing on the cake. You should be able to deliver it perfectly well even if – as once happened to me – the new training building has not yet been wired up for electricity, and you can’t even use the slides.

You can certainly send the PowerPoint in advance especially if they need to set it up on their system.

You can create handouts with the slides and writing space that you can give out in advance so they can write notes as you talk it through. It’s very formal and quite constraining.

You can create and print speaking notes for yourself with the slide at the top of the page and the relevant notes below – useful if you can’t see the screen all the time.

‘I can’t attend – can you send me the PowerPoint?’ Yes – but it isn’t the presentation. You can certainly send them the slides plus the handout, which will include the text. The slides won’t.

Using the PowerPoint

Try to get in early and if it’s an unfamiliar place and system, make sure you know how it all works. If it won’t respond, make sure everything is plugged in properly before calling IT …

Ideally your laptop should be in front of you and to the side so you can glance at it and check you are on the right slide, but it’s not a barrier between you and the audience.

Have it on a USB so if your laptop doesn’t connect you may be able to borrow one there.

A clicker is useful so you don’t have to go back to the laptop to change slides every time. There’s probably an integral USB cleverly slotted inside one end – take it out and slot it into your laptop. That will connect your clicker and the laptop and allow you to click forwards and backwards. They often have a helpful laser pointer attached. Take a spare battery.

When speaking I always advise you “allow the pause …” this gives time for the audience to think and catch up, for your message to sink in.

As a visual equivalent, try the B [for Blank screen] and W [for White screen] keys, so their attention comes back to you. You are the presentation, after all!

‘Worshipping the slide,’ where the speaker keeps gazing up at the image instead of the audience, is a sure way to lose their attention. Having a lot of text up there will attract and keep your gaze, especially if you’re nervous. Stop speaking, glance at it, look back to the audience – then start speaking again.

Use it – and lose it. When you’re done with that image, let it go or it will distract from your next point. It gives them a rest from staring at what can be quite a bright image.

Beware Death by Powerpoint – the speaker turns the lights off so everyone can read the text they are droning through, and the gentle hum of the fan and the warmth of the room gradually lulls them all to sleep….

And do keep it short. Especially just after lunch.

PowerPoint has its place – and it’s not centre stage.